Monday, 19 August 2013

Sarah - A short Story

Sarah had a wonderful childhood, she skipped about in the bluebells on spring holidays, sat on Santa's knee at Christmas, and played on the beaches of Cornwall in summer.

Why then was Sarah so intent on killing? she didn`t fit the box of neglected child, she wasn`t bullied at school and daddy didn`t love her too much.
She was intelligent, pretty and popular, lived in a red brick semi and went to a good school. Nothing strange or odd about her, she was just a teenage girl living a very ordinary life.

Maybe when Sarah put the pillow over her grandmothers face one morning she simply didn`t like her granny. Sarah had been staying with her gran for the weekend, they had spent the day shopping, then watched a weepy movie before going to bed. At 5 am as the birds began to sing in the garden Sarah silenced her grandmother forever. Nobody knew, why would anyone suspect a bewildered sobbing teenage girl, she had gone to wake her gran and found her dead, she said. Natural causes, the lady had a heart condition, she was old, so off she went to the next world.

 Sarah enjoyed the drama of sorrow, the black dress, the sympathy, the red rimmed eyes that made her mother look hideous. It only lasts so long though doesn`t it, then people have to `get on with their lives`. Sarah needed another dose of drama, the black sorrowful kind of drama, the drama that has people asking how you are. The heads that shake in disbelief at such a tragic loss and say how hard it must be for you.

Gemma had walked across a train track taking a short cut, so people thought, what a loss for the sake of a few minutes walk to the level crossing. Nobody knew that Sarah had soaked Gemma with petrol and threatened to set her alight. They didn`t hear the choice she was given. Walk across the train track and try to live, or die now by burning alive. They didn`t see the terror on Gemma`s face as she tried to step over the electric cable. She didn`t make it. Sarah was consoled for weeks over losing her best friend.

 Drama, a teenage addiction, yet to be discovered by parents, police and courts, by people researching serial killers, drama its just rubbish soap operas on tv isn`t it.

Also published on my blog

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Prince George`s Teddy Bear

Thought I would start a little fun ongoing story about being the Royal Prince George`s teddy bear. (27/7/2013) you can read my daily tweets  @PGsteddybear

My name is Gappa and I`m a special little bear, I was given to George`s mum Kate one day when she was out doing her Duchess thing. A little girl bought me hoping I`d be the Royal Baby`s special teddy bear. She was right because here I am sitting in the mosses basket with George. He is balling his eyes out and I tickle his feet to try and make him laugh. 

Kate and Wills have just told him he has to go outside and get his photo taken so the world can see him.  Really? OK then, but they can wait while he chucks up some milk and get his nappy changed.  He says he won`t open his eyes for them though, he will just stick his fingers up. Well done George, uncle Harry would approve. 

photo from flicr.

Afterwards we  arrive at this big place called Kensington Palace where we are going to live.  
There is a huge cot from this fancy shop called Harrods and lots of other toys.  George grabs my ear so I am the one who stays cuddled up to him. There are soldiers guarding the doors, and cannons firing royal salutes. Flowers and cards, toys and champagne arrive every minute. This is a busy place George, hope you can get some sleep here.
George is a very hungry baby and cries a lot for food so Will is busy making up lots of bottles.

Time now to meet the relations, this old lady comes in
I hear Wills call her granny so it must be that lady the Queen. She is very small and has this enormous crown on her head. I heard her saying George will wear the crown one day but he is so small and that crown looks really heavy. George reckons by the time he has grown up and put uncle Harry`s antics to shame they may not want him to wear that crown.
Tomorrow we are going out in the car to his other grannies house, George says this one will boss his mum about but Grandpa Middleton doesn`t talk to the plants like Grandpa Charles.

We went out in the pram today around granny Middletons garden. Lupo the dog met us too, George likes him but I`m scared of him he could easily  tear out my stuffing. Hope Kate has trained him not to attack this teddy bear.
David Beckham is coming tomorrow with his wife, Wills says he will be a knight soon so he maybe one of George`s godfathers.  Kate says no way, he will end up putting the photos on a advertising board to earn a few more million.

Going to meet the boggy eyed princesses tomorrow and great uncle Andrew. Hope Sarah isn`t about because I have heard she puts cheeky teddy bears in baths full of ice, then pulls off their toes.

More tomorrow.

Sunday today and aunty Pippa is here, she is cooing over George and saying what she will wear to his christening. Not a tight dress that shows off your butt, mutters George, it will be my day not yours. George says he will banish her to the tower when he is older and she can take all those party pieces with her. George has just realised he is going to be know as PG (prince George) by most people. No no no isn`t that the name of some teabags!! what were his mum and dad thinking. George said he will cry for a year to pay them back for that one.

Saturday 3rd August 2013

George is getting very big now and is sleeping better and everyone is happy about that! How silly are people though, we just heard that the little wrap blanket george had on leaving hospital sold out in minutes. So many people wanted it they crashed the website.  Strange! can you imagine what people will be like when they see PG pram.

Wills played Polo today, I am not surprised he wanted to get away from the mar-in-law, who wouldn`t.

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Survey Rant!


Why does everyone want a survey completed these days?


I was in the bank for two minutes today and I was told that because I had used the counter services, it would trigger an automated phone call were I could then complete a customer satisfaction survey. I was to press one for very satisfied etc.

Really! wow I was actually served by a real person and for that I am expected to give a glowing report on how the staff member was kind, attentive seemed happy in their job, the enviroment was pleasant blah blah blah.  For goodness sake what a load of rubbish! people will either put the phone down or just press number 1 repeatedly.  Useful things then surveys we can now add surveys at the end of ``there are lies, damned lies, stats and surveys.``

When I left school and worked in a large department store a manager patrolled the shop floor making sure we gave great customer service, otherwise you were sacked. Maybe the banks wouldn`t lose millions if they had that approach today.

Council Office

Go into a council office and a machine shows you a traffic light system of faces to give customer feedback. Red for we need to improve, amber for we could do better and green for we got it right.  Well what if I kick the damn machine and leave a note saying I`d don`t like the idea that they bought you in the first place! it is our money that paid for it after all.

Eating out

Along with the cutlery comes the survey flyer, yes I might win £200 in voucher or a free meal but then I probably won`t.

Night Out

Bought a ticket for a concert, theatre, cinema, bungee jump off the Shard ? Notice the survey that comes in 24 hours after your event. How was your night, did we do well? 

Actually no you didn`t do well! you provided a service I paid for, end of it please.

I am a comper I expect email surveys but that is part of the comping world. Fill this in and you might win some vouchers. I accept that sort of survey and usually just delete them.

In every aspect of any kind of `service` now though you are being asked to complete a survey, it is passive bullying if you ask me. We are getting so used to this `feedback` expectation that I doubt we even notice anymore we are our giving email address, dob, gender, income to name but a few details that are requested.


Visited your GP in the last year? fill in this survey please it is detailed and will help us provide a better service. Really? how can a survey help provide better service when what is needed is better opening times, more doctors, less waiting and a doctor who has the time of day for you. Everyone already knows this it has probably been written on thousands of surveys. Not changed a thing though.

I will stop ranting now so could you please just fill in a short survey at the bottom of this post to say how well I did.  Please leave all your details and your phone number so I can get our automated machines to phone you when you are having you dinner or are in the bath.

Tags survey, dining out, events, tickets, humour.

Monday, 17 June 2013

The Marble Church Ghost

My 200 word short Story

The Marble Church stood dramatically against the early grey of the morning sky.  The confetti still fluttered around the pathways from the weekend weddings when beautiful brides had stood smiling with their new husbands. The faint reminder of babies cries from the Sunday Christenings, and the smell of flowers on the well loved graves, made this a family place, a monument to lives lived and those lost.

The three teenage boys had spent a cold frightening night in the Lawson family crypt. This long forgotten, overgrown crypt in the corner of the graveyard had been their own private den. The place they drank cider and read girlie mags, smoked dope and fantasised about their futures. Filling them with models and fast cars, bank accounts stuffed with cash, and travel to the beaches of free love.

Cathy Lawson had listened to their young tales with interest and fascination she liked the way their eyes twinkled with excitement and their laughter.

Cathy`s coffin sat unnoticed on the shelf in the musty tomb, the boys had wondered at her fathers coffin when they first entered the crypt but not hers. She sat lonely on the shelf much like she had in life.

As the boys drank and talked, listened to their music and shared their last cigarette's.  Cathy moved the stones in the graveyard.  Cathy would keep these boys just for herself, she would listen to their stories, hopes and dreams, until they joined her on the shelf.

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Magical Snowdonia (short story)

Mount Snowdonia
200 word short story

Magical Snowdonia

Brian cried as he walked over the heather washed hills towards Mount Snowdon. The world could be a cruel and lonely place but the mountains had always offered refuge to his heavy heart. Today was different the streams seems simply cold  and the sky oppressive as it hid the tip of Snowdon in its curtain of grey.

The rabbits scurrying from the buzzards circling overhead and hill ponies gossiped under the low trees ignoring Brian. The rocks slippy with moss made the walk difficult and Brian`s calf's began to burn with effort. He was surprised to feel anything at all today even the cold biting through his flimsy jacket.

The whiskey bottle was waiting for him, it would warm his soul when he reached the top, it would make the day seem warm and alive.

Brian sat at the summit and looked down into the clouds he felt his heart beat faster, the swirling mists lapping at his boots. Lying back to look at the sky he wanted to stay there forever, no more heartbreak, no more fear, a quick dive off the edge and it all ends.

Brian drank a tot of whiskey, breathed the frosty air, and tighten his boot laces. He began the slow decent back towards home. The mountains had once again worked their magic on Brian. He knew without doubt he could never willingly give them up.

Thursday, 13 June 2013

Charlies Ghost

Thought is was time I revived my blog so I am setting myself a challenge to write 200 word short stories.

I will be posting a photo and then attempting to write something imaginative around the photo theme.

I have just written this one here

Steam Fair
Charlies Ghost

The flags blew gently in the breeze as the fairground prepared to open once more on the village green. The chains of the swings have been checked for any weakness and the big wheels safety bars screwed  tighter.  No-one was going to be hurt this time the rides spun, no ghost train roof would collapse or children disappear.

The noise of laughter grew louder and pink candy floss stuck to little fingers. The waltzers blasted out music and teenagers hid their illicit cigarettes in cupped hands. Fathers won teddybears by throwing darts and little girls giggled in the hall of mirrors. The sun shone warmly while clowns threw cartwheels beside a stripped tent full of sawdust and ponies.

Then the fog rose slowly over the wet grass wrapping ankles then knees in its misty thickness. Minutes later and it is hard to see at all, rides stopped and stumbling crowds followed the colourful lights towards the exit gates. 

No-one notices that Helen was gone.  The stairway to the Helter Skelter had been filled with people and Helen had just taken her turn on the spiral slide. Only the old fairground hands knew the Charlies ghost had stuck again.